DISCLAIMER: I’m not saying this is the only way to heal your broken heart but I am sharing what worked for me. Prior to this most recent loop on the same rollercoaster of love I had already been doing work to heal and change. This was more of an aggressive reboot for me.
A couple days ago I was on the phone with a dear friend that unapologetically CALLED ME OUT! I was venting about the sadness I felt caused by a person in my life whom I really care for love…deeply love, but causes me repeated pain. My friend has now heard this same story at least 200 times.
Same story. Same characters. Same outcome.
My friend says, “I don’t even know what to say to you right now. Why do YOU keep letting this person have so much control over your happiness? It drains you and it’s upsetting as your friend to see you putting yourself through this…” (plus some nice and motivating statements that really lit a 🔥 under my 🍑).
So there I stood looking at frozen foods in the grocery store and **click** 💡!!! My internal monologue tells me, Yes, I am sad but that’s totally on me – I’m giving my happiness away and trusting it in the hands of unworthy people. I know better than that!
We all know better than that but living that truth and believing that truth is a completely different ball game.
Sometimes it’s hard to see the fog surrounding a storm when you’re smack in the middle. And oh baby, I was in the middle of that hurricane!!
Getting through the storm is seriously not easy. Anyone who tells you it is I guarantee is lying or they’ve never gone deep enough. It can be scary, lonely, emotional, exhausting….BUT I PROMISE YOU….there really is so much sunshine to be felt and experienced from self healing and avoiding distraction (that’s just thicker fog – don’t go that route).
So what did I do?! I started HEALING. Legit healing. Didn’t even know what that meant or where to begin but I knew change had to happen immediately. I couldn’t keep allowing this human to hurt my heart repeatedly – I didn’t see survival at the end of that.
First, I dug deep (by this I mean, I sat with my feelings and observed them, felt them, expressed them). Might I suggest this be done somewhere quiet or private because you might find yourself bawling hysterically or screaming at the top of your lungs. That’s what I did – I cried. I cried for hours and I mean HOURS. It felt good to let it out and release. Get rid of the toxins you’re holding in. They no longer serve you.
Then I went to yoga. In case I cried I tried a new studio so I wouldn’t know anyone and I could leave to never show my face there again. I find no fault in holding on to a little dignity.
After yoga (which was a fabulous centering experience for me). I stopped thinking about this person for an hour and focused on breathing and movement. I liked the studio so I went to see what other classes they had and THANK YOU UNIVERSE!!!!!! The next class happened to be a Reiki Energy Healing. Obviously I stayed.
Honestly after crying all day and attending these two classes I went home and felt sad again. I cried some more. Acknowledging my heart hurt and not beating myself up I was able to fall asleep holding a rose quartz over my heart.
The next day I felt slightly better. I’m not going to sugar coat it – this internal work sucks. It hurts to feel and it’s easier to distract with anything — phone calls, social media, tv or music, social engagements…whatever it is that prevents you from soaking in your internal slime.
So….after starting with my morning routine of prayer and meditation (btw meditation is new to me so don’t be intimidated. I just find some YouTube videos to guide me and it sets the day off to a nice start. I’ve linked some decent starter videos below) I then went to work. Feeling honestly better but I knew I was nowhere near my recovering because every text ding and phone call my heart skipped a beat and I secretly hoped it was him.
More healing to do….
Survived work then went to the beach. Being in nature (even if it’s just your yard) does wonders for giving us greater perspective and not focusing on the hurt or the pain. It makes us feel small in a great way. When we feel small it makes our problems feel small. You can look at another person and understand that they’ve probably ugly cried before. They have been rejected or defeated somehow. We’re all connected and being with nature you’ll lovingly be made aware of that.
After the beach I went to a Sound Healing (also new to me). It was AWESOME!!!! Since I have no prior experience to draw from here I will tell you what I think made this extra special and effective for me. You can decide if this will help you.
- You have to go in with your heart open to healing. You have to truly want the peace that comes with this.
- The vibe is everything. From the moment I entered this studio I felt welcomed and loved.
- The guide (instructor) must have amazing energy.
- Be able to relax.
- Enjoy and follow the flow!
I cried (yes again) and left there actually feeling like a big part of my “old self” left me that night. A newer, rawer version was present and ready to break my former self’s cycles and I felt excited!!
While there is certainly A LOT more healing to be done it feels good to FEEL the process unfolding. Even JJ Watt said, “The one who walks out of the storm is never the same as the one who walked in.”
What repeated results are you seeing in your life that doesn’t feel good but “keeps happening to you”?! Please email me or send a message on IG! I’m here if you ever need a listening ear. 🙏🏼😊
Some Final Helpful Alternatives: Journal | Listen to music | Therapy | Friends | Set boundaries | Read (audiobooks are just as good) — I strongly suggest Louise Hay, Rebecca Campbell, Brene Brown, Cleo Wade | Watch YouTube videos that create positive mindset & raise your vibrations! | Exercise
You got this!!
XoX…Karli